Sometimes

Sometimes, I'm glad you're not here. Glad you don't see it when I let myself sink into despair. Or even some of the flights of fancy I go on about the things I'd like to do with you, even if those are pleasant…

Other times, I wish you were. Wish that it wasn't just a coincidence when you suggested a game night hours after I posted a letter about just such a thing. Or brought up a beloved movie that I referenced in a letter once upon a time.

I mean… how much easier would it be if I could just drop a little note about having a very rare evening to myself tomorrow night? I can't know if the stars would align such that you do, too, but at least I'd be able to plant the seed of the idea…

Instead, I'll have to rack my brain, trying to find some excuse to have you join me. Recruit the kids again… they were such great accomplices a few weeks ago. Find some lawn game for them that works best in the dark so I can get you sitting next to me at my fire table under the deck… Something. Anything.

Well. I'll be working on it. It may not even matter. Could fate really be so kind to us? But I do need to be ready, just in case. These opportunities, for me, don't come very often at all. I would hate to miss one. Again.

Yours,
♒️